19. Former Paramadvaiti Swamis closest Associate breaks silence
Letter from Atulananda Maharaja to mother Radha Damodar and devotees, 03.05.2021
First of all I want to apologize to mother Radha Damodara for taking so long to write this letter. It is because, as they say in Chile, "I don't want any more war". But my heart feels that it is a great sin not to say anything. For a mother to lament so clearly, so bravely and sincerely, and for one to simply say nothing, no, that cannot be, it would be a lack of manliness.
To make a mother suffer is the most inauspicious thing in this world.
The truth is that I was very disturbed to hear those things again. I think of them, how much they must have suffered as a couple. All these years have been suffering and I, for my part, ask for their forgiveness, because I do not want to be a participant in this sin.
To remain silent is to partake. No, please.
I cannot sing quietly, I cannot sing my rounds.
After the mother's letter, an absurd and defiant letter from a supposedly anonymous author was published, where they question our understanding of philosophy, and where they demand forgiveness for the one who has committed the abuses, without him asking for the slightest forgiveness from those victims whose lives he most likely ruined, at least many years of their lives.
(But if he does not ask for forgiveness, at least you do so, you, supposed leaders of the Vrnda-Parivar. Don't continue to be accomplices in the same sin. You are in an even worse situation than he is, because he is sick, but you are supposed to be healthy).
That supposed anonymous letter was a big mockery and complete nonsense. So now it is we who are ignorant of bhakti, who do not know how to forgive?
I want to make something very clear, "I understand that I should not feel anger towards the sinner but towards the sin". Okay, fine, fine, but when I see that the sinner continues to sin by not recognizing his fault, I can't help but feel anger. Then I say to myself, "But he is sick. He has two tumors in the frontal lobe of his brain and that does not allow him to have a good discrimination of what he has done.
And these are not my words. Do your research. Find out what it means to suffer from it. There are people who have gone so far as to kill their own family members because they suffered from it. So my indignation is directed towards those who support and follow him. Towards those who still have him on the altar of a Krsna temple, and present him as a genuine follower of Srila Prabhupad, of our masters.
All this is a great mockery. It is a great insult. It is the craziest thing I could have ever imagined. To see Askalita doing this. To see the most senior disciples of Srila Harijan Gurudeva supporting something like this, and even more I am surprised that the wives of those devotees are in the same line.
I ask him, "Why didn't he get married? Why did he want to be a sannyasi if it was not his nature? Couldn't he serve Prabhupad as a grhastha?
It is most ridiculous. A mother accuses the most shameful abuses, perpetrated even on the most sacred ground, and these people carry on as if nothing happened, according to them... forgiving the one who demands to be forgiven. It is certainly the most shameless and comfortable position.
And what about the mothers who were abused? What about the devotees who have been left on the street? What about all those who have lost their faith altogether because they have seen no sign of true repentance, but rather see him continuing to promote himself on the networks as if nothing had happened? They see him addressing a meeting of the World Vaisnava Association as if he has done nothing wrong.
But I confess to you, I believe that in his case it is a mitigating factor that he is sick. And it is a fact that he is sick. It is a medical fact. And I say this objectively. I simply say it because it is so, and then one must act accordingly.
A person with such a disease cannot continue to lead a spiritual movement. He cannot continue to be one of the representatives of the oldest and purest religion in the world. He can no longer represent Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu or our gurus. It is an insult. It is not like that, it cannot be like that. It is a discredit to all those who are trying to deliver Krsna's Name.
I asked them to give me back Yamunakuñja in India, and do you know what their answer was? It was as follows, "Our Guru Maharaj is a renounced sannyasi who has nothing to his name, how he can give what he has not got?"
What do you think? The truth is that I could not stop laughing very hard when I read this answer.
One devotee told me something that I liked very much: "tell him that you are also a sannyasi and that you have nothing too, so he should leave you something".
But well, to tell the truth, they also tell me that those places are open for all those who deliver Mahaprabhu's message. But of course, everything always under their control and in the shadow of their discredited fame.
So I tell his fanatic followers to stop this complete madness. Our Prabhupad risked his life to bring us something very pure and genuine, and it is something we must take care of as the only real treasure in the universe.
If you really love him, if you really want to help him, you cannot keep him in his blind pratistha position. It is the worst thing you can do for him, for yourself and for the world. You are committing the worst offense by discrediting the whole guru parampara, the entire highest process that descends from Lord Brahma himself, that is protected by Sri Narada Muni, by all the greatest sages in the universe. This is not a joke. It is not something cheap.
You should read what Srila Prabhupada Bhaktisiddhanta says about the guru. How divine he must be. How pure and elevated. He is a representative of God on earth. But you people have turned him into something cheaper than a bag of popcorn.
And to think that at one time he left me as the Acharya of the whole Vrnda mission, "Yes, Acharya, but as long as you do as I say." Screen Acharya, as you all are now.
There you can see that there is no congruence in the things he does and says. There is no congruence in putting so many Acharyas and sannyasis. It is not our tradition. It is not our thing. It is not what our true Acharyas have done.
You are violating our purest tradition, what Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur and Srila Prabhupada Bhaktisiddhanta came to rescue. I think you will bring down Krsna Himself to come and restore the principles of religion!
(If so, I must thank you for that).
What real Acharya supports you? You have lost all sense.
A mother writes such a terrible letter and you remain undaunted. As if it were not true. By acting like this you become partakers of the same sins. There is no doubt about it.
We started to initiate because Srila Prabhupad was gone. Srila Prabhupad left eleven gurus, and when they fell down, they retired, none of the fallen ones are still in their altars. Because you cannot cheat. It should not be covered up. We want to open the eyes of the blind.
But you blind sheep follow all this nonsense in the most fanatical way and you are deceiving many people. All those who visit your temples are the new deceived. If you want to continue in this deception, do it in your homes, there put your picture on your altars, worship it there, but not in a public way like showing it to the world as one more example of our sampradaya. This is something we cannot allow.
But I insist, you think you are his true friend, but it is not so, you are his biggest pimps, because you do not help him to correct himself, because you keep him in the same disease. If you were his true friend you would tell him: "Maharaj, we love you very much, we feel very indebted to you and we are very grateful with all that you have given us; but you must recognize that you made serious mistakes, very serious, and we must help you to clean those sins, so that they do not go unnoticed, (because there are 33 million demigods watching everything we do, because even our own mind is a witness). As your friend we want to help you to get better. Please dedicate yourself to only chanting the holy name and relating with pure devotees. Don't be so much with us. Now you take advantage of the holy association. We will take care of you.
Please ask for sincere forgiveness from the mothers you abused. Fall at their feet weeping. Implore their forgiveness. Otherwise the future that awaits you is very dark. A guru who has done these things. It is the ugliest thing. It is the worst of all. (What is worse, that a stranger abuses a woman or that her own father, her own refuge, does it? Of course both cases are horrible, but which is the most unimaginable?). Dear Maharaj, we are going to remove him from the altar because he does not belong there anymore. It does not belong. With what you have done, you do not represent the line of our gurus and to have you there is a great offense. It is worse for you it is also worse for us...
Something like that they should tell him, and something like that is what they should do, if they really want to be well situated. And if you do not believe me, ask Srila Gopananda Vana Maharaj, Srila Bodayan Maharaj, Srila Bhisnu Maharaj, Srila Tripurari Maharaj, ask them if you do not believe me, because you do not consult with anyone. Consult with them, but please, inform them well about everything that has happened. Do not go with half-truths.
Srila Bhaktidayita Madhava Maharaj, quoting the sastra, said that in Kali yuga there will come gurus who will last as long as a mosquito that is born in the morning and dies in the afternoon. This is what you are generating, and how I wish this would prove to be true! Because so much abuse and lying cannot be tolerated.
Srila Prabhupad Bhaktisiddhanta said that not for one second did he see his Gurudeva in anything but Krsna. He said that if he had seen him for one second of the day unrelated to Krsna, he would have used that second to go to maya. Thus spoke our divine grandfather. So take care of yourselves, and take care of the one you supposedly love so much.
Who was a better friend of Dhrtarastra, good Yudhisthira or sage Vidura? Because of his great sensitivity Sri Yudhisthira could not leave his uncle, but it was Vidura who really cared to save him.
I want to make it very clear to you: you are not acting as a true friend. You are deviant and you are in deep maya. And you are following someone who is in the same boat. Who lies. Who minimizes things. But I think he is less guilty even than you are now, because now he is sick, and you do nothing, neither to heal his mind nor to make him free from his karma. Because he may chant a lot of Hare Krsna, or go on preaching as he says, but the real way to atone is to ask for sincere forgiveness from the affected souls.
He says that his service is preaching, that he practically does not know how to do anything else, but at the present moment his preaching is just anti-preaching, he should feel very much ashamed, a shame that neither he, nor you, have.
Well, this is something I feel it my duty to convey.
Again I ask for forgiveness, much forgiveness, to mother Radha Damodar and to all the mothers who were abused. I ask forgiveness to the devotees and mothers who have felt cheated and cheated. But I ask them to go deeper. I tell them that Krsna is God and is the goal of life. I ask them to stick to the philosophy, to the siddhanta, and from there draw new strength to go forward following a real beacon.
May Sri Krsna not withdraw us from His loving shelter.