18. Farewell Letter from Haladhara das to the Berlin Hindu Community
This is Haladhara d.'s farewell letter to the Berlin Hindu community (see also 9. Letter from Haladhara das to Paramadvaiti Maharaja), which he has led for over 25 years during which he has been often attacked for his critical views on BAP. For years he has been constructively critical of BAP's increasingly questionable leadership style, which has been incapable of accepting this well-meaning criticism. In this letter to the members and friends of the Hindu community in Berlin, he summed it up in April 2019. At that time, only Radha Kunda's accusation of abuse was publicly known. This letter is also about illuminating the causes of a spiritual community increasingly characterized by abuse and fraud, which has clearly become a (dangerous) sect.
1. "The Hindu community as a community and many members as individuals are currently going through a crisis that we have never experienced before. The causes are deep and the symptoms have been growing for a long time.....
Many disciples have long complained that they have been urged not to begin an education because it would have no value compared to life in the temple. It is a clear symptom of the disease of the system. A healthy community and a teacher who wants to support the development of the students promotes independence at all levels instead of making the members or students dependent or bringing them into conflicts of conscience. True religion is inclusive instead of exclusive. Where science and education are banned, superstition, fanaticism and insanity have excellent ground to grow."
2. The Benedictine monk, philosopher and spiritual writer, Anselm Grün writes in his book Mystik, den innere Raum entdecken:
"If a spiritual person skips the psychological dimension, there is a danger that he will become authoritarian within a short time, which can lead to spiritual abuse. He binds people to himself and makes them dependent on himself. But since he exaggerates everything spiritually, he does not notice his own needs for power and closeness. As much as he then speaks of unity mysticism. It then no longer strikes him that the divisive tendencies of his own soul, the people around him also split into hostile groups, that he places himself with his mysticism above all other believers who have no idea of the actual spiritual experience."
3. Jack Kornfield, a worldwide recognized meditation teacher, who has a PhD in clinical psychology and also works as a therapist, describes this problem in the extremely illuminating 10 chapter (The Dirty Laundry) of his book After Enlightenment, Washing Laundry and Peeling Potatoes. I highly recommend it to you and quote only a small excerpt: "When a community turns its back on the earthly world or takes on sectlike, pejorative traits, there is no possibility for real feedback. Similar to when teachers are thought to be completely sublime and perfect, they can isolate it and cut it off from equal partners and spiritual friendship. Members of such spiritual communities may lose sight of reality. Teachers who are surrounded by admiring students instead of peers run the risk of falling victim to their unconscious needs for true intimacy, or worse, blind self-confidence, arrogance and intolerance, isolation and inflation, are the fertile ground for illusion and thought control and thus for transforming spiritual practice into a cult."
April 2019
Dear members and friends of the Hindu community,
this letter to you is really long, but I ask you to read it in peace. Recent events have deeply shaken many of us, leaving us with anger, disappointment and an elusive pain. The pain and the emotional strain have sometimes triggered violent reactions in me and I am sorry if they were sometimes confusing and difficult for others to understand.
Now I try to analyze the situation of our community and my relationship to it, to understand it deeply and to process it rationally and emotionally. After several decades in this community, I would like to share the conclusion of my reflection and empathy with you. These events move me intensely and I know many of you feel the same way. I want to think with you honestly and openly and find a rational answer appropriate to our time and society.
The Hindu community as a community and many members as individuals are currently going through a crisis that has never happened before for us. The causes are deep and the symptoms have grown for a long time.
What is the point of a crisis?
In medicine, a crisis is not the end of the organism, but a sign of change. It is not about the exchange of a particle, the treatment of a wound. Crisis means an entire system is ill, fundamental changes are needed if the organism is to recover.
What happened? What symptoms of the disease does our system show? One of the symptoms is misogynia. For many years it was overdue for me to point out and process the misogynous statements in the comments of our writings. We live in the Europe of the 21st century. It is no longer difficult or dangerous to deal with this issue. On the contrary, the society around us has been aware of it and sensitised to it.
The profound and comprehensive consideration of the subject of Krishna chandra is an excellent template which can be helpful for us in this work and which I recommended in order to maintain a common state of knowledge. Therefore, I do not consider it necessary to write down another compilation.
At a time, however, when misogyny is still an only partially worked up, important topic in all strata of society, politics, and religions also deal with it more and more, the restraint and often also the blindness of some Vaishnavas of my environment seemed clearly outdated to me, to put it politely.
I personally experienced Sannyasis of the Vrinda Mission sexist and degrading for women in their lectures. In a particularly blatant case, I asked why he could continue to do so. Paramadvaiti's answer was "that through him many new people will come to the temple". This reasoning raises in me the question of what are the preferences of our community? Quantity or quality? And at whose expense? If the number of temple visitors is more important than the image of the world and the people that make it happen, then we might as well invite a pop star, Mickey Mouse, or the top managers of the Coca Cola group to give lectures in the temple.
Paramadvaiti, but also others interpreted the discussion I demanded about the important questions of the distinction between the socio-cultural imprint e.g. Srila Prabhupadas, the timeless spiritual truth (tattva viveka) he tried to convey, as devaluation of the person Bhaktivedanta Swami and as an attack against him as a person. They say: "Whoever is against Prabhupada cannot be a chairman of the Hindu community." This attitude makes a deep and intelligent discussion and analysis of this important issue impossible. This attitude takes dialogue to an infertile level, where people and personal bias are at stake, not the substantive issues I have raised. Namely, to look honestly at this problem, which is not only deeply rooted in Indian society. From my point of view, such an expressed inner attitude conceals insecurity and fear.
Religion and Science
What other questions will this crisis bring to the surface? Personally and collectively? The most important of these is the one: What is Bhakti? What is religion? What is Yoga? All these words mean to be in connection, to connect with God.
This is the question for my personal spiritual life: Can this community and this guru fulfill this task for me, which should be the meaning of their existence? Namely, that they support me in being touched and transformed by God in an existential depth? And what does it mean to be in connection with God?
Srila B.R. Sridhara Deva Goswami met a yogi as a young man. The young B.R. Shridhara, then still a student, asked him if he could show him God. The enthusiastic answer was moving: "Look at the clouds, the mountains, the land. Don't you see Him? He is everywhere. Only He is there.
The way of the Bhakti, of devotion, can open our eyes to God's omnipresence.
The many years of my work in Interreligious Dialogue have given me the experience and insight that the mystics of different traditions speak similarly to the Hindu mystic and Bhakta, whom Srila B.R. Sridhara Swami asked about God. The mystics of the different traditions do not debate with each other. Even if at different times or geographically they lived a thousand kilometres away from each other and had never heard of each other, they speak very similarly about what lies beyond words. But they all talk about everything being God, that we cannot approach God with our reason. "The Atman is not recognized, He recognizes Himself." - Walther Eidlitz quotes the holy scriptures. Or "He who sees all things in Me and all things also in Me...". (Bhagavad-Gita)
Without a true mystical experience one sees God and the world separated from each other, divided, and thus begins a very dangerous process. We begin to sort and evaluate things, people and everything in the world, into holy and unholy. This is valuable, that is worthless. We are the good ones, the others are the bad ones, the villains, because they see the world and God differently and only we ourselves know who God really is. "God is on our side". The ancient Greek word Diabolos refers to the thrower of confusion, the twister of facts and the slanderer. Diavolo creates the discord and carries within him the Latin word root "dividere". That means: splitting. The same root has the word diabolic. This world view has serious consequences. Misogyny, personality cult, the devaluation of other views, other world views and beliefs. A closed system of thought which inevitably leads to the formation of sectarian community structures. But also religious wars grow on the ground of splitting. God is banished from his creation, from the "others" and also from ourselves, although the already quoted sentence of the Gita, as well as Walther Eidlitz's quotation from the Upanishads say the opposite: "The (Supreme) Atman looks at himself through every looking being". The Isha Upanishad also says that everything is sacred: "From Isha, the Divine ruler of the world, this whole universe, everything that moves and does not move, is enveloped, filled, inhabited, perfumed is scented. Or as Angelus Silesius, the Christian mystic, who Eidlitz also likes to quote, in whom Cherubinian Wanderer says: "All this is a game that the Godhead makes for himself.
With a split world view, successors and pupils are no longer free in their search for purity, because the observance of rules and regulations has become an antiseptic measure, which must not be understood only blindly accepted. Misinterpretation of the scriptures is the result. The result is an ideology, alien to life and thus also to God, because a self-contained system of thought is used to justify and evaluate one's own and others' actions.
What are the symptoms of this development in our fellowship? From my point of view, a whole series.
Many students have long complained that they were being urged not to begin an education because it would have no value compared to life in the temple. It is a clear symptom of the disease of the system. A healthy community and a teacher who wants to support the development of the students promotes independence at all levels instead of making the members or students addicted or causing conflicts of conscience. True religion is inclusive instead of exclusive. Where science and education are banned, superstition, fanaticism and insanity have excellent ground to grow.
The world view, in which science and spirituality oppose each other, has long since left behind the truly important representatives of science and spirituality.
The world-renowned Cistercian, mystic, spiritual writer and holy rascal, as his friends call him, Thomas Keating believes that modern physics and many areas of modern science have more to do with mysticism than today's religious institutions. He says we hear deep spiritual statements from quantum physicists rather than from the priests during Holy Mass.
The important quantum physicist Werner Heisenberg also sees no contradiction between science and spirituality: "The first sip from the cup of science makes us atheistic. But at the bottom God waits".
Unfortunately, there are still untrue thoughts about science in our community.
The unhealthy attitude described above had already produced symptoms earlier, although they were not so conspicuous and did not immediately lead to a crisis in the community. But if we ask the question: How many of the former Berlin temple leaders are still connected to their former guru today? How many important, older Vaishnavis and Vaishnavas of the community have also long since retired? We see immediately that the process that led to today's crisis has already begun. One of the first "temple presidents" in Berlin (I don't like this antagonism of temple and president) even gave up his inauguration name a few weeks ago. Wouldn't it be time to invite them all once and ask them to give their reasons for their complete retreat?
How often did I hear: "We have to missionize people for their own happiness, make devotees". But what do the missionaries mean by being devotees? That someone must belong to our club? Are the devotees happy in this club? Why does anyone think that devotees can or must be "made" by people? It is natural to communicate, to share with others the best you have. And Krishna says: "mad bhakta": who shares it with My Bhaktas?
In this context I find the realization of Victor Frankl, the founder of logotherapy, worth considering in his book The Unconscious God - Psychotherapy and Religion: "Certainly, our understanding of religion has very little to do with denominational narrow-mindedness and its consequences, with religious short-sightedness, which apparently sees in God a being that is basically only out for one thing: that as many people as possible believe in him and, moreover, just as a certain denomination prescribes it [...]. [Love and faith] cannot be manipulated. Rather, as intentional phenomena, they only appear when an adequate content and object light up."
The attitudes and views I have mentioned have their part to play in what led to the crisis we are currently experiencing, which has erupted completely as a result of last year's events. I now describe the concrete events for the community members who have received little concrete information about what exactly happened and why I am now withdrawing.
Openness and consternation
In the autumn of last year, we had prepared a new election of the Executive Board. I announced that if we do not address the issue of misogyny in our writings, I will no longer publicly represent the Hindu community. It was a controversial discussion. There was real interest in this discourse but there were also voices that preferred to approach it very carefully or saw no need for action at all.
I was able to persuade several members of our church to replace outgoing board members to form a new board. I, too, wanted to resign and there was a very suitable person from my point of view who also lives on our property in Berlin.
But then more and more of us were surprised and shocked by the open letter of a former student of B. A. Paramadvaiti to his student, who accused him of sexual assault. Could this really be true? I said in this general meeting that this topic will probably be a heavy test for us.
In the meantime, Paramadvaiti's first reactions have come. Written and Audios. The conclusion was that he couldn't remember the actual events he was accused of. But some of his students began to accuse this woman of being a liar, of being made-up accusations and of being a conspiracy of third parties. Because there was no clarification, I wrote an open letter to B.A. Paramadvaiti in October 2018 calling for this derailment to be stopped.
There was great confusion and deep concern. What was true of the allegations and what was not? After some time, the first concessions came from Paramadvaiti itself. Understandably, this had an impact on the confidence of those who could just imagine a board job. We decided to wait with the election of the board because we found a time of clarification important and appropriate for our own position finding.
In an official letter from B.A. Paramadvaiti (October/November 2018), he apologized for the violation of the sannya etiquette, which caused a lot of confusion and the arguments into which many were drawn. That was a good signal. But this letter in no way touched on the actual allegations.
And yet another accusation became known. The feelings of the devotees experienced a roller coaster ride. One parishioner, like others, received direct confirmation from Paramadvaiti: "Yes, it is true. Meanwhile, the accusations go back even further.
That had an effect. Since the guru has continued to strictly emphasize the importance of Bramacarya since these incidents and further decreased promises of "regulating principles" during initiations, students felt very insecure and deceived.
I consider it a sign of human maturity to ask questions in such a situation instead of
acting blindly. What consequences does this have for the Hindu community in Berlin?
How should and can it continue? Still not all members of the community had the same level of information. Therefore we had invited them to a general meeting on 23.03.2019, with only two topics.
1st discussion about our current situation and the shaping of the future of the church.
2. the preparation of the election of the board.
Up to this point, I had patiently accepted the allegations against me, "I cling to the post and want to control everything", which were essentially made behind my back, although the reason we waited with the board elections, as I described above, was the unsettling, angry and hectic situation caused by Paramadvaiti's unclear statements.
The meeting was very open. One of the most honest and authentic I have experienced in the community to illuminate a difficult area. But there were also violent scenes among each other, even verbal attacks. Therefore we could not complete the 2nd part of the meeting. But there was the common view of the majority of those present that enlightenment and honesty is the only way to deal with the accusations because everything else damages the real meaning of Guru.
What happened in the next few days I would never have expected.
Hate messages circulated via Whatsapp against people who demanded clarification about the accusations against Paramadvaiti, because his answers remained unclear and ambiguous. Aggressive verbal attacks were experienced by club members who resisted the trivialization (they are only "slips") of these serious accusations, but I myself was also attacked. Association members were insulted because of their critical attitude towards B.A. Paramadvaiti. How the non-profit purpose of the Hindu community can be realized under these circumstances was no longer an issue. Rather, it was a matter of maintaining the image of a guru at all costs, without the willingness to look at the ethical and psychological aspects of his handling of the accusations directed against him at all. Even my reference to the fact that our cooperation is based on fundamental and human rights, as formulated in the Basic Law of the Federal Republic of Germany, did not change anything.
I had asked before the meeting if anyone had anything against an audio recording. There were participants who disagreed with the recording of the meeting. So I told everyone to put their cell phones and recorders away. There is a protocol for that.
Now I have learned that an audio recording was secretly made. This outrages me because it violates the personal rights of others and is illegal as such.
A few days ago there was a meeting of the disciples of B.A. Paramadvaiti in the temple, who continue to regard him as their guru. I was not invited. Even before this meeting, the confidential files of the association were secretly photographed without asking a single member of the board, and a lot of sensitive data was stolen.
This is no longer a triviality, and those who did have clearly crossed the line between the legal and the tolerable.
After the meeting, B.A. Paramadvati accused me via Whatsapp of having "edited" the opinion of an important member from the (result) protocol of 23 March. Of course this is unfounded. Reading the original document written by the clerk would confirm this. Except for a few additions, only the names were omitted. This is usual for a result protocol and should exactly protect individuals from not being divided into "good and bad". But Paramadvaiti claimed this without verifying the accuracy with me, without verifying the truth. With this accusation he attacked me above all and not the first time he spread an unchecked unthruth about me. On several occasions I asked him to clarify the untruths about me that he had publicly spread, but without any success.
I don't think that's a misunderstanding anymore. And of course this has an emotional influence on those who think they have to defend their guru.
And then, after our really open and, of course, controversial meeting, the participants were assessed and even questioned about their "entitlement" to be at this meeting at all.
"Who pays and who doesn't, who does service and who doesn't" became any criterion for whether someone is allowed to say something or not. Those who do a lot are allowed to have a say, those who don't do a lot should stay away. I can only say for myself that I experienced those who were accused of doing much more intensive and above all more continuous work for the congregation than the aggressive representatives of the opinion that B.A. Paramadvait is still the authority for the Hindu congregation.
Who created the standards for these speech permission grants? And who could presume to look into people's hearts? Bhakti is a way in which the heart comes first. Does being in touch with God mean that you can memorize and quote many Shlokas? Does that mean being active in a mission?
It is no coincidence that Jesus was not recognized by the scribes, the Pharisees. On the contrary. They saw in Jesus such a great danger that they had him killed.
What connects someone to God? Who can support and accompany others on this path? What makes someone a teacher or a good student? Not every teacher is wise and not every wise person is a mystic, a bhakta.
Criteria like in competitive sports, in order to derive speech rights or anything else from it, completely contradict my understanding of spirituality but also of club work. The spiritual ego is insidious and can easily create competitions like "who is the most humble in the world", "who is the most renounced in the world".
I once read the prayer of a little boy, Brian: "Dear God, if the bad people go to hell and the good ones to heaven, where will the better ones go?
And little Robert prayed it more precisely to the point: "Dear God, my Rabbi says that you love Israel more than any other country. My teacher asked me to write a report about Venezuela. Please don't be angry with me."
How far is it healthy to follow tradition?
"Religious tradition is not a value in itself. To simply believe and pass it on without existentially verifying it preserves more the ashes than the embers," recognized the Franciscan monk, spiritual writer and priest Richard Rohr.
Going deeper and asking uncomfortable questions
In my attempt to understand our crisis, I have continued to research and I have found other clear symptoms of the disease of the system.
Isn't the division in our church also an indication of the deeper inner division of man within himself who has authority in the church?
The Benedictine monk, philosopher and spiritual writer, Anselm Grün, writes in his book Mysticism, Discovering the Inner Space:
"If a spiritual person jump over the psychological dimension and skips them, there is a danger of becoming authoritarian within a short time, which can lead to spiritual abuse. He binds people to himself and makes them dependent on himself. But since he exaggerates everything spiritually, he does not notice his own needs for power and nearnness. As much as he speaks of unity mysticism, it then no longer strikes him that the riving tendencies of his own soul, split the people around him into hostile groups, that he places himself with his mysticism above all other believers who have no idea of the actual spiritual experience."
Therefore, the advice of the trauma researcher and therapist Prof. Dr. Franz Ruppert seems to me to be extremely sensible that all people in a leadership function go through a trauma check in order to be able to perceive their own inner fission in the first place. And at the same time the process that Albert Einstein wrote about, should unfold:
"The true value of a human being is primarily determined by the degree to which and the sense in which he has achieved liberation from the ego.
Matthew Remski gives in his book “Practice and All is Coming. Abuse-Cult Dynamics and Healing in Yoga and beyond” gives a very well researched insight into the individual and collective trauma of a yoga community: "We can think that we have exercises and teachers to heal our wounds, even if we deepen them. We can easily confuse the sensations of transcendence and trauma..."
The theologian and philosopher Doris Wagner, who joined an order at a young age and experienced coercion, control, harassment and rape, writes: "I believe that spiritual abuse is a violation of spiritual autonomy and that spiritual autonomy is a fundamental right of self-determination of every human being [...] Spirituality is not a secret doctrine but a basic human need, an ability and a coping technique. While only a few people possess esoteric knowledge, each person has his or her own spirituality. While esoteric knowledge is controlled by masters or gurus, every human being can freely dispose of his spirituality. While esoteric knowledge is often difficult to understand, spiritual knowledge is intuitive".
My interreligious work has made me very sensitive and even more open to the world views of other people. It has awakened in me a deep respect for what makes other people happy in their faith. This has helped me to see my own path more clearly and to keep alive my desire and aspiration to deepen my relationship with God more and more. The well-known Jesuit and mystic Karl Rahner said about his tradition: "The Christian of the future will be a mystic, or he won't be at all anymore". Is this also true in our community? Does it help us if we simply follow tradition and see in Sannyasis the better people and in Sannyas an ideal that they are not? How often did 'Sannyas' become an identity prosthesis for men who, by changing clothes per se, became pastors and leaders of spiritual communities without taking the trouble or the time to train the necessary professional and human competence or to check whether they possess it at all? Does it help us if we theoretically know that God is present as Paramatman in all living beings, that everything is brahman, that God is love but there is no living truth in us?
If personal (including professional) development and spiritual awakening do not go hand in hand, the result cannot be healthy.
Ken Wilber has drawn and shown the map of the evolution of consciousness in his integral system. He describes how important it is that the two wings of human life, spirituality and personality development are challenged in parallel. He includes the latest scientific findings.
Abraham Maslow writes in his great book: "Every human being is a mystic:
"Much theology, much verbal religion in history and in the world can be seen as a more or less vain effort to transform the original mystical experience of the original prophet into communicable words and formulas. In a word, organized religion can be thought of as an attempt to convey peak experiences to those without peaks, to teach them, make them available to them, etc.".
This means nothing less than the problem that I can only pass on as much as I actually carry within me and that I can only absorb as much as my heart is open. Through symbols and rituals we can easily imagine a content. Information is not a transformation. Therefore Krischna advises to visit a tattva darshinah, a seer of truth, a climber. Another will not be able to accompany me in the direction of contact with God. Krishna calls it in the Gita brahma-samsparsham, the touch with the Absolute. Brahma-samsparsham does not mean fusion in the sense of self-dissolution, but an actual touching as well as an actual being touched. Brahma-samsparsham contains agreement and exchange. The highest truth at this level for the yogi is no longer just a matter of faith, a hunch or longing, but reality. Brahma-samsparsham has a timeless validity, regardless of the religion that a person follows. B. R. Shridhara Deva Goswami writes that from this point of the Gita at the described yoga corresponds to Bhakti Yoga.
It takes a lot of courage to give and accept authentic self-reflection in a spiritual community. This requires a sense of when isolation arises and how repression mechanisms work.
Jack Kornfield, a worldwide recognized meditation teacher, who has a PhD in clinical psychology and also works as a therapist, describes this problem in the extremely illuminating 10 chapter (The Dirty Laundry) of his book “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry: How the Heart Grows Wise on the Spiritual Path“.
I highly recommend it to you and quote only a small excerpt: "When a community turns its back to the earthly world or takes on sectarian, pejorative traits, there is no possibility for real feedback. Similar to when teachers are thought to be completely sublime and perfect, they can be isolated and cut it off from equal partners and spiritual friendship. Members of such spiritual communities may lose sight of reality. Teachers who are surrounded by admiring students instead of peers run the risk of falling victim to their unconscious needs for true intimacy, or worse, blind self-confidence, arrogance and intolerance, isolation and inflation, are the fertile ground for illusion and thought control and thus for transforming spiritual practice into a cult."
It has consequences when folklore and cultural imprints are presented and accepted as spiritual truth. Spiritual materialism hides the essence behind the backdrop of apparent values.
We do not need to be more holy than we are.
Self-perception is not pleasant, it even hurts. It is the parting of all unreal idealization of spirituality.
Mysticism is the personal experience of God of the individual. That is why mystics are always extremely critical of the religious institution and therefore far away from hypocrisy.
What I stand for
I would like to mention very briefly what I have done for the Hindu community and volunteer board work in nearly thirty years, because it explains why these events are so painful and distressing for me. It started before B.A.Paramadvaiti came to Berlin. We were a small group in East Berlin, distancing ourselves from ISKCON and its then authoritarian and fanatical representative, and after the fall of the Berlin Wall we had to watch how our temple was plundered by young and zealous "devotees", because a few confused heads thought all this belonged to them, including the spices in the kitchen cupboard. Then we moved to my former Berlin apartment.
I drove B.A. Paramadvaiti in the 90s about 100.000 km through Europe. That's more than twice around the world. With my car and at my expense. I am friends with his sister and his brother until today. His father spent holidays in the house of my family. I was connected with his mother by a long lasting friendship, which deepened in many conversations.
I recently spoke at a conference of the Evangelische Akademie Bad Boll on the topic "The Global Sustainability Goals (SDG) Now - The Perspective of the Economy of Life and the Contribution of Religions" on Hinduism and Sustainability.
An Indian speaker and activist emphasized in her lecture that in India the voice of civil society is hardly heard by the nationalist government among important SDG's and is "left out", like SDG No. 5: Gender equality. Dr. Vandana Shiva says: "Our society has traditionally had a bias against the girl child. But the epidemic of female feticide and the disappearance of 30 million unborn girls has taken that bias to new levels of violence and new proportions". But the epidemic of the female fetocide and the disappearance of 30 million unborn girls has brought this prejudice to a new level of violence of new proportions. “)
In 2015, there were 2000 girls a day, according to the then Indian Minister for Women and Children, Maneka Gandhi. What exactly is the background to this inhuman superstition? What does it do to the people who grow up in a society where this act of violence has been silently carried on for centuries?
As a spiritual community and/or as individuals, we often could not and did not want to see the difference between spiritual truth and cultural tradition, folklore and superstition. What does this mean for the community and for each individual person? And how does one experience such a deep inner confrontation with one's own mistakes and errors in the crisis?
For over ten years I worked on and published a poetic translation of the Bhagavad-Gita. It was particularly important for me to let Krishna's word speak for itself, without representing a school that "knows better" with comments or commentative translation.
I represented my lived experiences and the Hindu community in countless conferences, seminars and initiatives in Berlin and throughout Germany. For several years now I have been regularly speaking the word "Wort zum Tage" on Deutschlandradio Kultur. These are my short essays about Bhakti Yoga in the Hindu tradition.
The Hindu community has acquired a highly respectable position in the Berlin cityscape. I wrote many articles and texts for numerous publications, especially for the Berlin Forum of Religions, of which I am a founding member. For about ten years we have been present nationwide with a current photo and a topic contribution by me in a professionally created interreligious calendar for Berlin and Brandenburg. Many school classes and student groups come to us to learn something about Hinduism, many of which I have accompanied myself.
Visits of high-ranking personalities of the city in our temple prove the excellent reputation as an authentic community to convey the Vaishnava culture.
This is now in serious danger.
For many years I have been in person in contact with the Berlin public, with representatives or spiritual leaders of other religions and with senior staff members of the Berlin Senate. I have a friendship with some of them. I will continue to share with them not only the joy of a common dialogue of true spirituality, but also the way of dealing with the dark sides in a religious community. Anyone who knows the people of this country and especially of this city knows about their absolutely understandable rejection of religions in which the necessary criticism is suppressed and embellished. Everyone should be aware that the question of hostility towards women in the (Hindu) tradition has already been asked concretely by students and their teachers during visits to our temple.
Inspired by the 5 phases of mourning which the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler Ross recognized after more than 200 interviews and a model of the philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah, I would like to introduce you to the 5 phases of change in the crisis which I feel are very suitable for our situation.
Phase 1: Denying, Negating and Fighting the Critics. Simply not wanting to admit the real situation is often the first reaction out of fear of the (final) validity of what has happened.
Phase 2: Rage, anger, escape into blind actionism in order not to be confronted with one's own powerlessness. There may also be a recognition of the crisis without personal reference. "Why I have nothing to do with it..."
Phase 3: First realization of the situation. The existing feelings and heartache are admitted a little more, even if the whole extent of the crisis still seems overwhelming. Many remember also beautiful experiences, which still increases the pain. First personal reference but no possibility for action.
Phase 4: Negotiating. This is often followed by (desperate) attempts to negotiate with fate, to embellish or soften the events. The event is relived again and again. Pondering search for ways out (acting according to "norm system") until it is realized that the situation cannot be changed.
Phase 5: Recognizing what has happened, with all the consequences that entails. The earlier the crisis or loss is acknowledged, the more the past can be truly appreciated. Retrospective incomprehension: "Why could we only...?". It is now a matter of arriving at the present and orienting ourselves with new courage towards the future. Essential experiences are thus integrated into the personality and strengthen it for further life. Only then does letting go follow.
As individuals we experience individually different phases of the crisis. But where does the community stand? Can we use the gift of the crisis as an inspiration for healing? Or do we get stuck in some phase, which means death for the organism but at least stagnation in the illness?
bottom line
As chairman and member of the community, but also as a spiritual seeker, I feel that the unclear and contradictory statements of B.A. Paramadvaiti about the accusations against him are an unreasonable and too great burden for the Hindu community. At least as important for me is his desperate adherence to a guru position, even if he does not want to give further initiations, which in my opinion he no longer does justice to in any way, but through which he tries to influence the appointment of the board of our charitable association, instead of standing on the spot personally and at eye level of the discussion. It would be helpful if the women who brought up his overbearing behaviour were present. At that time they were his pupils, his daughters, as he used to call his pupils.
Some of them recently talked about the fact that the women themselves had wanted to do this and they portray it as if it would change the situation. But a person in a special position (a relationship of superiority and subordination has a considerable influence) must know that his position does not allow this for psychological and ethical reasons.
In my opinion, it is the duty of the spiritual community for these women to obtain a public apology from B.A. Paramadvaiti and to provide them with every possible material help for adequate professional psychological care. This should stimulate B.A. Paramadvaiti himself. What has he done in this regard?
The aggressive behaviour of some of his disciples, the massive disparagement of his critics, the invasion of their privacy and ignorance of the personal rights of others, the attempt to influence the Hindu community by force, prevent me from seeing in this procedure the interest in an authentic spiritual movement.
I would like to see the result of meditation, Bhakti Yoga and the resulting consciousness reflected in actions with which people create a world in which they would like to live. Then it would certainly be easier to follow the word of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication: "Only when a criticism is as valuable to me as a thank you, do I know that I am in harmony with the divine energy".
We all make mistakes because we are human beings. What matters is how we deal with it. We live in a time when me too revelations in numerous religious and spiritual institutions reveal the decades of abuse of leaders, priests, lamas and gurus in their institutions and the victims only after many years had the courage to turn to the public. In one famous case, there was special training (or rather indoctrination) for students on how to behave loyally when they are approached by journalists about the Master's behavior. The Catholic Church today has to deal with many allegations of cover-up sexual abuse.
Well-known God brothers of Paramadvaiti, but also other Vaishnavas, have asked him in vain to take an honest stand on all points.
The Hindu community in Berlin is neither subordinated to the Vrinda mission according to its statutes nor in any other respect. In the general meeting on 23.03. it became clear that the majority of the participating members refuse to grant Paramadvaiti further the position of an honorary member.
A veto right for an honorary member does not provide for our statute by the way at all.
Also I cannot and will not bear the responsibility for a possible further escalation. For me personally, the attempt to call my reputation into question by unproven accusations via public channels is another great burden, unacceptable and yet easily transparent.
As chairman of the parish, but also for me personally, the statements of Paramadvaiti like: "In Berlin there is a lot talked about but little done" are unacceptable. From my point of view this drives the division of the community forward. And they show the ingratitude, arrogance and emotional distance towards concrete people who have brought decades of their lives into the community and the temple and who have donated large sums of money over the years to implement "his" projects. There are enough contemporary witnesses to this. Isn't this a weak and too transparent attempt to distract from the actual topic and from the fundamental problems that need to be dealt with? Even this sentence alone is a symptom of the illness of the system. It is a sign of the attitude that is characteristic of the whole society around us. To be continuously active instead of going deep. In all spiritual traditions it is emphasized that we should move from doing to being. There God can touch us and only from this being touched, from this being reconnected may action arise. But the depth of being is the first. The crisis and the state of our spiritual community shows unvarnishedly what happens when doing prevails without the real depth that comes from being and when there is a lack of honesty of transformation.
That is why I am no longer available for the presidency of the association.
I will continue my commitment to inter-religious dialogue and I will continue to support the Hindu community with my experience. But not for personality cult and the concealment or euphemism of spiritual abuse.
I am deeply grateful to my friends and companions and remain connected with them because it is an everlasting gift to which we opened our hearts. The cooperation in the board teams was great for the most part. Our time together for a wonderful goal, which we joyfully took very seriously, means a lot to me and is an important chapter in my life.
Haladhara d.
April 2019
1. "The Hindu community as a community and many members as individuals are currently going through a crisis that we have never experienced before. The causes are deep and the symptoms have been growing for a long time.....
Many disciples have long complained that they have been urged not to begin an education because it would have no value compared to life in the temple. It is a clear symptom of the disease of the system. A healthy community and a teacher who wants to support the development of the students promotes independence at all levels instead of making the members or students dependent or bringing them into conflicts of conscience. True religion is inclusive instead of exclusive. Where science and education are banned, superstition, fanaticism and insanity have excellent ground to grow."
2. The Benedictine monk, philosopher and spiritual writer, Anselm Grün writes in his book Mystik, den innere Raum entdecken:
"If a spiritual person skips the psychological dimension, there is a danger that he will become authoritarian within a short time, which can lead to spiritual abuse. He binds people to himself and makes them dependent on himself. But since he exaggerates everything spiritually, he does not notice his own needs for power and closeness. As much as he then speaks of unity mysticism. It then no longer strikes him that the divisive tendencies of his own soul, the people around him also split into hostile groups, that he places himself with his mysticism above all other believers who have no idea of the actual spiritual experience."
3. Jack Kornfield, a worldwide recognized meditation teacher, who has a PhD in clinical psychology and also works as a therapist, describes this problem in the extremely illuminating 10 chapter (The Dirty Laundry) of his book After Enlightenment, Washing Laundry and Peeling Potatoes. I highly recommend it to you and quote only a small excerpt: "When a community turns its back on the earthly world or takes on sectlike, pejorative traits, there is no possibility for real feedback. Similar to when teachers are thought to be completely sublime and perfect, they can isolate it and cut it off from equal partners and spiritual friendship. Members of such spiritual communities may lose sight of reality. Teachers who are surrounded by admiring students instead of peers run the risk of falling victim to their unconscious needs for true intimacy, or worse, blind self-confidence, arrogance and intolerance, isolation and inflation, are the fertile ground for illusion and thought control and thus for transforming spiritual practice into a cult."
April 2019
Dear members and friends of the Hindu community,
this letter to you is really long, but I ask you to read it in peace. Recent events have deeply shaken many of us, leaving us with anger, disappointment and an elusive pain. The pain and the emotional strain have sometimes triggered violent reactions in me and I am sorry if they were sometimes confusing and difficult for others to understand.
Now I try to analyze the situation of our community and my relationship to it, to understand it deeply and to process it rationally and emotionally. After several decades in this community, I would like to share the conclusion of my reflection and empathy with you. These events move me intensely and I know many of you feel the same way. I want to think with you honestly and openly and find a rational answer appropriate to our time and society.
The Hindu community as a community and many members as individuals are currently going through a crisis that has never happened before for us. The causes are deep and the symptoms have grown for a long time.
What is the point of a crisis?
In medicine, a crisis is not the end of the organism, but a sign of change. It is not about the exchange of a particle, the treatment of a wound. Crisis means an entire system is ill, fundamental changes are needed if the organism is to recover.
What happened? What symptoms of the disease does our system show? One of the symptoms is misogynia. For many years it was overdue for me to point out and process the misogynous statements in the comments of our writings. We live in the Europe of the 21st century. It is no longer difficult or dangerous to deal with this issue. On the contrary, the society around us has been aware of it and sensitised to it.
The profound and comprehensive consideration of the subject of Krishna chandra is an excellent template which can be helpful for us in this work and which I recommended in order to maintain a common state of knowledge. Therefore, I do not consider it necessary to write down another compilation.
At a time, however, when misogyny is still an only partially worked up, important topic in all strata of society, politics, and religions also deal with it more and more, the restraint and often also the blindness of some Vaishnavas of my environment seemed clearly outdated to me, to put it politely.
I personally experienced Sannyasis of the Vrinda Mission sexist and degrading for women in their lectures. In a particularly blatant case, I asked why he could continue to do so. Paramadvaiti's answer was "that through him many new people will come to the temple". This reasoning raises in me the question of what are the preferences of our community? Quantity or quality? And at whose expense? If the number of temple visitors is more important than the image of the world and the people that make it happen, then we might as well invite a pop star, Mickey Mouse, or the top managers of the Coca Cola group to give lectures in the temple.
Paramadvaiti, but also others interpreted the discussion I demanded about the important questions of the distinction between the socio-cultural imprint e.g. Srila Prabhupadas, the timeless spiritual truth (tattva viveka) he tried to convey, as devaluation of the person Bhaktivedanta Swami and as an attack against him as a person. They say: "Whoever is against Prabhupada cannot be a chairman of the Hindu community." This attitude makes a deep and intelligent discussion and analysis of this important issue impossible. This attitude takes dialogue to an infertile level, where people and personal bias are at stake, not the substantive issues I have raised. Namely, to look honestly at this problem, which is not only deeply rooted in Indian society. From my point of view, such an expressed inner attitude conceals insecurity and fear.
Religion and Science
What other questions will this crisis bring to the surface? Personally and collectively? The most important of these is the one: What is Bhakti? What is religion? What is Yoga? All these words mean to be in connection, to connect with God.
This is the question for my personal spiritual life: Can this community and this guru fulfill this task for me, which should be the meaning of their existence? Namely, that they support me in being touched and transformed by God in an existential depth? And what does it mean to be in connection with God?
Srila B.R. Sridhara Deva Goswami met a yogi as a young man. The young B.R. Shridhara, then still a student, asked him if he could show him God. The enthusiastic answer was moving: "Look at the clouds, the mountains, the land. Don't you see Him? He is everywhere. Only He is there.
The way of the Bhakti, of devotion, can open our eyes to God's omnipresence.
The many years of my work in Interreligious Dialogue have given me the experience and insight that the mystics of different traditions speak similarly to the Hindu mystic and Bhakta, whom Srila B.R. Sridhara Swami asked about God. The mystics of the different traditions do not debate with each other. Even if at different times or geographically they lived a thousand kilometres away from each other and had never heard of each other, they speak very similarly about what lies beyond words. But they all talk about everything being God, that we cannot approach God with our reason. "The Atman is not recognized, He recognizes Himself." - Walther Eidlitz quotes the holy scriptures. Or "He who sees all things in Me and all things also in Me...". (Bhagavad-Gita)
Without a true mystical experience one sees God and the world separated from each other, divided, and thus begins a very dangerous process. We begin to sort and evaluate things, people and everything in the world, into holy and unholy. This is valuable, that is worthless. We are the good ones, the others are the bad ones, the villains, because they see the world and God differently and only we ourselves know who God really is. "God is on our side". The ancient Greek word Diabolos refers to the thrower of confusion, the twister of facts and the slanderer. Diavolo creates the discord and carries within him the Latin word root "dividere". That means: splitting. The same root has the word diabolic. This world view has serious consequences. Misogyny, personality cult, the devaluation of other views, other world views and beliefs. A closed system of thought which inevitably leads to the formation of sectarian community structures. But also religious wars grow on the ground of splitting. God is banished from his creation, from the "others" and also from ourselves, although the already quoted sentence of the Gita, as well as Walther Eidlitz's quotation from the Upanishads say the opposite: "The (Supreme) Atman looks at himself through every looking being". The Isha Upanishad also says that everything is sacred: "From Isha, the Divine ruler of the world, this whole universe, everything that moves and does not move, is enveloped, filled, inhabited, perfumed is scented. Or as Angelus Silesius, the Christian mystic, who Eidlitz also likes to quote, in whom Cherubinian Wanderer says: "All this is a game that the Godhead makes for himself.
With a split world view, successors and pupils are no longer free in their search for purity, because the observance of rules and regulations has become an antiseptic measure, which must not be understood only blindly accepted. Misinterpretation of the scriptures is the result. The result is an ideology, alien to life and thus also to God, because a self-contained system of thought is used to justify and evaluate one's own and others' actions.
What are the symptoms of this development in our fellowship? From my point of view, a whole series.
Many students have long complained that they were being urged not to begin an education because it would have no value compared to life in the temple. It is a clear symptom of the disease of the system. A healthy community and a teacher who wants to support the development of the students promotes independence at all levels instead of making the members or students addicted or causing conflicts of conscience. True religion is inclusive instead of exclusive. Where science and education are banned, superstition, fanaticism and insanity have excellent ground to grow.
The world view, in which science and spirituality oppose each other, has long since left behind the truly important representatives of science and spirituality.
The world-renowned Cistercian, mystic, spiritual writer and holy rascal, as his friends call him, Thomas Keating believes that modern physics and many areas of modern science have more to do with mysticism than today's religious institutions. He says we hear deep spiritual statements from quantum physicists rather than from the priests during Holy Mass.
The important quantum physicist Werner Heisenberg also sees no contradiction between science and spirituality: "The first sip from the cup of science makes us atheistic. But at the bottom God waits".
Unfortunately, there are still untrue thoughts about science in our community.
The unhealthy attitude described above had already produced symptoms earlier, although they were not so conspicuous and did not immediately lead to a crisis in the community. But if we ask the question: How many of the former Berlin temple leaders are still connected to their former guru today? How many important, older Vaishnavis and Vaishnavas of the community have also long since retired? We see immediately that the process that led to today's crisis has already begun. One of the first "temple presidents" in Berlin (I don't like this antagonism of temple and president) even gave up his inauguration name a few weeks ago. Wouldn't it be time to invite them all once and ask them to give their reasons for their complete retreat?
How often did I hear: "We have to missionize people for their own happiness, make devotees". But what do the missionaries mean by being devotees? That someone must belong to our club? Are the devotees happy in this club? Why does anyone think that devotees can or must be "made" by people? It is natural to communicate, to share with others the best you have. And Krishna says: "mad bhakta": who shares it with My Bhaktas?
In this context I find the realization of Victor Frankl, the founder of logotherapy, worth considering in his book The Unconscious God - Psychotherapy and Religion: "Certainly, our understanding of religion has very little to do with denominational narrow-mindedness and its consequences, with religious short-sightedness, which apparently sees in God a being that is basically only out for one thing: that as many people as possible believe in him and, moreover, just as a certain denomination prescribes it [...]. [Love and faith] cannot be manipulated. Rather, as intentional phenomena, they only appear when an adequate content and object light up."
The attitudes and views I have mentioned have their part to play in what led to the crisis we are currently experiencing, which has erupted completely as a result of last year's events. I now describe the concrete events for the community members who have received little concrete information about what exactly happened and why I am now withdrawing.
Openness and consternation
In the autumn of last year, we had prepared a new election of the Executive Board. I announced that if we do not address the issue of misogyny in our writings, I will no longer publicly represent the Hindu community. It was a controversial discussion. There was real interest in this discourse but there were also voices that preferred to approach it very carefully or saw no need for action at all.
I was able to persuade several members of our church to replace outgoing board members to form a new board. I, too, wanted to resign and there was a very suitable person from my point of view who also lives on our property in Berlin.
But then more and more of us were surprised and shocked by the open letter of a former student of B. A. Paramadvaiti to his student, who accused him of sexual assault. Could this really be true? I said in this general meeting that this topic will probably be a heavy test for us.
In the meantime, Paramadvaiti's first reactions have come. Written and Audios. The conclusion was that he couldn't remember the actual events he was accused of. But some of his students began to accuse this woman of being a liar, of being made-up accusations and of being a conspiracy of third parties. Because there was no clarification, I wrote an open letter to B.A. Paramadvaiti in October 2018 calling for this derailment to be stopped.
There was great confusion and deep concern. What was true of the allegations and what was not? After some time, the first concessions came from Paramadvaiti itself. Understandably, this had an impact on the confidence of those who could just imagine a board job. We decided to wait with the election of the board because we found a time of clarification important and appropriate for our own position finding.
In an official letter from B.A. Paramadvaiti (October/November 2018), he apologized for the violation of the sannya etiquette, which caused a lot of confusion and the arguments into which many were drawn. That was a good signal. But this letter in no way touched on the actual allegations.
And yet another accusation became known. The feelings of the devotees experienced a roller coaster ride. One parishioner, like others, received direct confirmation from Paramadvaiti: "Yes, it is true. Meanwhile, the accusations go back even further.
That had an effect. Since the guru has continued to strictly emphasize the importance of Bramacarya since these incidents and further decreased promises of "regulating principles" during initiations, students felt very insecure and deceived.
I consider it a sign of human maturity to ask questions in such a situation instead of
acting blindly. What consequences does this have for the Hindu community in Berlin?
How should and can it continue? Still not all members of the community had the same level of information. Therefore we had invited them to a general meeting on 23.03.2019, with only two topics.
1st discussion about our current situation and the shaping of the future of the church.
2. the preparation of the election of the board.
Up to this point, I had patiently accepted the allegations against me, "I cling to the post and want to control everything", which were essentially made behind my back, although the reason we waited with the board elections, as I described above, was the unsettling, angry and hectic situation caused by Paramadvaiti's unclear statements.
The meeting was very open. One of the most honest and authentic I have experienced in the community to illuminate a difficult area. But there were also violent scenes among each other, even verbal attacks. Therefore we could not complete the 2nd part of the meeting. But there was the common view of the majority of those present that enlightenment and honesty is the only way to deal with the accusations because everything else damages the real meaning of Guru.
What happened in the next few days I would never have expected.
Hate messages circulated via Whatsapp against people who demanded clarification about the accusations against Paramadvaiti, because his answers remained unclear and ambiguous. Aggressive verbal attacks were experienced by club members who resisted the trivialization (they are only "slips") of these serious accusations, but I myself was also attacked. Association members were insulted because of their critical attitude towards B.A. Paramadvaiti. How the non-profit purpose of the Hindu community can be realized under these circumstances was no longer an issue. Rather, it was a matter of maintaining the image of a guru at all costs, without the willingness to look at the ethical and psychological aspects of his handling of the accusations directed against him at all. Even my reference to the fact that our cooperation is based on fundamental and human rights, as formulated in the Basic Law of the Federal Republic of Germany, did not change anything.
I had asked before the meeting if anyone had anything against an audio recording. There were participants who disagreed with the recording of the meeting. So I told everyone to put their cell phones and recorders away. There is a protocol for that.
Now I have learned that an audio recording was secretly made. This outrages me because it violates the personal rights of others and is illegal as such.
A few days ago there was a meeting of the disciples of B.A. Paramadvaiti in the temple, who continue to regard him as their guru. I was not invited. Even before this meeting, the confidential files of the association were secretly photographed without asking a single member of the board, and a lot of sensitive data was stolen.
This is no longer a triviality, and those who did have clearly crossed the line between the legal and the tolerable.
After the meeting, B.A. Paramadvati accused me via Whatsapp of having "edited" the opinion of an important member from the (result) protocol of 23 March. Of course this is unfounded. Reading the original document written by the clerk would confirm this. Except for a few additions, only the names were omitted. This is usual for a result protocol and should exactly protect individuals from not being divided into "good and bad". But Paramadvaiti claimed this without verifying the accuracy with me, without verifying the truth. With this accusation he attacked me above all and not the first time he spread an unchecked unthruth about me. On several occasions I asked him to clarify the untruths about me that he had publicly spread, but without any success.
I don't think that's a misunderstanding anymore. And of course this has an emotional influence on those who think they have to defend their guru.
And then, after our really open and, of course, controversial meeting, the participants were assessed and even questioned about their "entitlement" to be at this meeting at all.
"Who pays and who doesn't, who does service and who doesn't" became any criterion for whether someone is allowed to say something or not. Those who do a lot are allowed to have a say, those who don't do a lot should stay away. I can only say for myself that I experienced those who were accused of doing much more intensive and above all more continuous work for the congregation than the aggressive representatives of the opinion that B.A. Paramadvait is still the authority for the Hindu congregation.
Who created the standards for these speech permission grants? And who could presume to look into people's hearts? Bhakti is a way in which the heart comes first. Does being in touch with God mean that you can memorize and quote many Shlokas? Does that mean being active in a mission?
It is no coincidence that Jesus was not recognized by the scribes, the Pharisees. On the contrary. They saw in Jesus such a great danger that they had him killed.
What connects someone to God? Who can support and accompany others on this path? What makes someone a teacher or a good student? Not every teacher is wise and not every wise person is a mystic, a bhakta.
Criteria like in competitive sports, in order to derive speech rights or anything else from it, completely contradict my understanding of spirituality but also of club work. The spiritual ego is insidious and can easily create competitions like "who is the most humble in the world", "who is the most renounced in the world".
I once read the prayer of a little boy, Brian: "Dear God, if the bad people go to hell and the good ones to heaven, where will the better ones go?
And little Robert prayed it more precisely to the point: "Dear God, my Rabbi says that you love Israel more than any other country. My teacher asked me to write a report about Venezuela. Please don't be angry with me."
How far is it healthy to follow tradition?
"Religious tradition is not a value in itself. To simply believe and pass it on without existentially verifying it preserves more the ashes than the embers," recognized the Franciscan monk, spiritual writer and priest Richard Rohr.
Going deeper and asking uncomfortable questions
In my attempt to understand our crisis, I have continued to research and I have found other clear symptoms of the disease of the system.
Isn't the division in our church also an indication of the deeper inner division of man within himself who has authority in the church?
The Benedictine monk, philosopher and spiritual writer, Anselm Grün, writes in his book Mysticism, Discovering the Inner Space:
"If a spiritual person jump over the psychological dimension and skips them, there is a danger of becoming authoritarian within a short time, which can lead to spiritual abuse. He binds people to himself and makes them dependent on himself. But since he exaggerates everything spiritually, he does not notice his own needs for power and nearnness. As much as he speaks of unity mysticism, it then no longer strikes him that the riving tendencies of his own soul, split the people around him into hostile groups, that he places himself with his mysticism above all other believers who have no idea of the actual spiritual experience."
Therefore, the advice of the trauma researcher and therapist Prof. Dr. Franz Ruppert seems to me to be extremely sensible that all people in a leadership function go through a trauma check in order to be able to perceive their own inner fission in the first place. And at the same time the process that Albert Einstein wrote about, should unfold:
"The true value of a human being is primarily determined by the degree to which and the sense in which he has achieved liberation from the ego.
Matthew Remski gives in his book “Practice and All is Coming. Abuse-Cult Dynamics and Healing in Yoga and beyond” gives a very well researched insight into the individual and collective trauma of a yoga community: "We can think that we have exercises and teachers to heal our wounds, even if we deepen them. We can easily confuse the sensations of transcendence and trauma..."
The theologian and philosopher Doris Wagner, who joined an order at a young age and experienced coercion, control, harassment and rape, writes: "I believe that spiritual abuse is a violation of spiritual autonomy and that spiritual autonomy is a fundamental right of self-determination of every human being [...] Spirituality is not a secret doctrine but a basic human need, an ability and a coping technique. While only a few people possess esoteric knowledge, each person has his or her own spirituality. While esoteric knowledge is controlled by masters or gurus, every human being can freely dispose of his spirituality. While esoteric knowledge is often difficult to understand, spiritual knowledge is intuitive".
My interreligious work has made me very sensitive and even more open to the world views of other people. It has awakened in me a deep respect for what makes other people happy in their faith. This has helped me to see my own path more clearly and to keep alive my desire and aspiration to deepen my relationship with God more and more. The well-known Jesuit and mystic Karl Rahner said about his tradition: "The Christian of the future will be a mystic, or he won't be at all anymore". Is this also true in our community? Does it help us if we simply follow tradition and see in Sannyasis the better people and in Sannyas an ideal that they are not? How often did 'Sannyas' become an identity prosthesis for men who, by changing clothes per se, became pastors and leaders of spiritual communities without taking the trouble or the time to train the necessary professional and human competence or to check whether they possess it at all? Does it help us if we theoretically know that God is present as Paramatman in all living beings, that everything is brahman, that God is love but there is no living truth in us?
If personal (including professional) development and spiritual awakening do not go hand in hand, the result cannot be healthy.
Ken Wilber has drawn and shown the map of the evolution of consciousness in his integral system. He describes how important it is that the two wings of human life, spirituality and personality development are challenged in parallel. He includes the latest scientific findings.
Abraham Maslow writes in his great book: "Every human being is a mystic:
"Much theology, much verbal religion in history and in the world can be seen as a more or less vain effort to transform the original mystical experience of the original prophet into communicable words and formulas. In a word, organized religion can be thought of as an attempt to convey peak experiences to those without peaks, to teach them, make them available to them, etc.".
This means nothing less than the problem that I can only pass on as much as I actually carry within me and that I can only absorb as much as my heart is open. Through symbols and rituals we can easily imagine a content. Information is not a transformation. Therefore Krischna advises to visit a tattva darshinah, a seer of truth, a climber. Another will not be able to accompany me in the direction of contact with God. Krishna calls it in the Gita brahma-samsparsham, the touch with the Absolute. Brahma-samsparsham does not mean fusion in the sense of self-dissolution, but an actual touching as well as an actual being touched. Brahma-samsparsham contains agreement and exchange. The highest truth at this level for the yogi is no longer just a matter of faith, a hunch or longing, but reality. Brahma-samsparsham has a timeless validity, regardless of the religion that a person follows. B. R. Shridhara Deva Goswami writes that from this point of the Gita at the described yoga corresponds to Bhakti Yoga.
It takes a lot of courage to give and accept authentic self-reflection in a spiritual community. This requires a sense of when isolation arises and how repression mechanisms work.
Jack Kornfield, a worldwide recognized meditation teacher, who has a PhD in clinical psychology and also works as a therapist, describes this problem in the extremely illuminating 10 chapter (The Dirty Laundry) of his book “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry: How the Heart Grows Wise on the Spiritual Path“.
I highly recommend it to you and quote only a small excerpt: "When a community turns its back to the earthly world or takes on sectarian, pejorative traits, there is no possibility for real feedback. Similar to when teachers are thought to be completely sublime and perfect, they can be isolated and cut it off from equal partners and spiritual friendship. Members of such spiritual communities may lose sight of reality. Teachers who are surrounded by admiring students instead of peers run the risk of falling victim to their unconscious needs for true intimacy, or worse, blind self-confidence, arrogance and intolerance, isolation and inflation, are the fertile ground for illusion and thought control and thus for transforming spiritual practice into a cult."
It has consequences when folklore and cultural imprints are presented and accepted as spiritual truth. Spiritual materialism hides the essence behind the backdrop of apparent values.
We do not need to be more holy than we are.
Self-perception is not pleasant, it even hurts. It is the parting of all unreal idealization of spirituality.
Mysticism is the personal experience of God of the individual. That is why mystics are always extremely critical of the religious institution and therefore far away from hypocrisy.
What I stand for
I would like to mention very briefly what I have done for the Hindu community and volunteer board work in nearly thirty years, because it explains why these events are so painful and distressing for me. It started before B.A.Paramadvaiti came to Berlin. We were a small group in East Berlin, distancing ourselves from ISKCON and its then authoritarian and fanatical representative, and after the fall of the Berlin Wall we had to watch how our temple was plundered by young and zealous "devotees", because a few confused heads thought all this belonged to them, including the spices in the kitchen cupboard. Then we moved to my former Berlin apartment.
I drove B.A. Paramadvaiti in the 90s about 100.000 km through Europe. That's more than twice around the world. With my car and at my expense. I am friends with his sister and his brother until today. His father spent holidays in the house of my family. I was connected with his mother by a long lasting friendship, which deepened in many conversations.
I recently spoke at a conference of the Evangelische Akademie Bad Boll on the topic "The Global Sustainability Goals (SDG) Now - The Perspective of the Economy of Life and the Contribution of Religions" on Hinduism and Sustainability.
An Indian speaker and activist emphasized in her lecture that in India the voice of civil society is hardly heard by the nationalist government among important SDG's and is "left out", like SDG No. 5: Gender equality. Dr. Vandana Shiva says: "Our society has traditionally had a bias against the girl child. But the epidemic of female feticide and the disappearance of 30 million unborn girls has taken that bias to new levels of violence and new proportions". But the epidemic of the female fetocide and the disappearance of 30 million unborn girls has brought this prejudice to a new level of violence of new proportions. “)
In 2015, there were 2000 girls a day, according to the then Indian Minister for Women and Children, Maneka Gandhi. What exactly is the background to this inhuman superstition? What does it do to the people who grow up in a society where this act of violence has been silently carried on for centuries?
As a spiritual community and/or as individuals, we often could not and did not want to see the difference between spiritual truth and cultural tradition, folklore and superstition. What does this mean for the community and for each individual person? And how does one experience such a deep inner confrontation with one's own mistakes and errors in the crisis?
For over ten years I worked on and published a poetic translation of the Bhagavad-Gita. It was particularly important for me to let Krishna's word speak for itself, without representing a school that "knows better" with comments or commentative translation.
I represented my lived experiences and the Hindu community in countless conferences, seminars and initiatives in Berlin and throughout Germany. For several years now I have been regularly speaking the word "Wort zum Tage" on Deutschlandradio Kultur. These are my short essays about Bhakti Yoga in the Hindu tradition.
The Hindu community has acquired a highly respectable position in the Berlin cityscape. I wrote many articles and texts for numerous publications, especially for the Berlin Forum of Religions, of which I am a founding member. For about ten years we have been present nationwide with a current photo and a topic contribution by me in a professionally created interreligious calendar for Berlin and Brandenburg. Many school classes and student groups come to us to learn something about Hinduism, many of which I have accompanied myself.
Visits of high-ranking personalities of the city in our temple prove the excellent reputation as an authentic community to convey the Vaishnava culture.
This is now in serious danger.
For many years I have been in person in contact with the Berlin public, with representatives or spiritual leaders of other religions and with senior staff members of the Berlin Senate. I have a friendship with some of them. I will continue to share with them not only the joy of a common dialogue of true spirituality, but also the way of dealing with the dark sides in a religious community. Anyone who knows the people of this country and especially of this city knows about their absolutely understandable rejection of religions in which the necessary criticism is suppressed and embellished. Everyone should be aware that the question of hostility towards women in the (Hindu) tradition has already been asked concretely by students and their teachers during visits to our temple.
Inspired by the 5 phases of mourning which the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler Ross recognized after more than 200 interviews and a model of the philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah, I would like to introduce you to the 5 phases of change in the crisis which I feel are very suitable for our situation.
Phase 1: Denying, Negating and Fighting the Critics. Simply not wanting to admit the real situation is often the first reaction out of fear of the (final) validity of what has happened.
Phase 2: Rage, anger, escape into blind actionism in order not to be confronted with one's own powerlessness. There may also be a recognition of the crisis without personal reference. "Why I have nothing to do with it..."
Phase 3: First realization of the situation. The existing feelings and heartache are admitted a little more, even if the whole extent of the crisis still seems overwhelming. Many remember also beautiful experiences, which still increases the pain. First personal reference but no possibility for action.
Phase 4: Negotiating. This is often followed by (desperate) attempts to negotiate with fate, to embellish or soften the events. The event is relived again and again. Pondering search for ways out (acting according to "norm system") until it is realized that the situation cannot be changed.
Phase 5: Recognizing what has happened, with all the consequences that entails. The earlier the crisis or loss is acknowledged, the more the past can be truly appreciated. Retrospective incomprehension: "Why could we only...?". It is now a matter of arriving at the present and orienting ourselves with new courage towards the future. Essential experiences are thus integrated into the personality and strengthen it for further life. Only then does letting go follow.
As individuals we experience individually different phases of the crisis. But where does the community stand? Can we use the gift of the crisis as an inspiration for healing? Or do we get stuck in some phase, which means death for the organism but at least stagnation in the illness?
bottom line
As chairman and member of the community, but also as a spiritual seeker, I feel that the unclear and contradictory statements of B.A. Paramadvaiti about the accusations against him are an unreasonable and too great burden for the Hindu community. At least as important for me is his desperate adherence to a guru position, even if he does not want to give further initiations, which in my opinion he no longer does justice to in any way, but through which he tries to influence the appointment of the board of our charitable association, instead of standing on the spot personally and at eye level of the discussion. It would be helpful if the women who brought up his overbearing behaviour were present. At that time they were his pupils, his daughters, as he used to call his pupils.
Some of them recently talked about the fact that the women themselves had wanted to do this and they portray it as if it would change the situation. But a person in a special position (a relationship of superiority and subordination has a considerable influence) must know that his position does not allow this for psychological and ethical reasons.
In my opinion, it is the duty of the spiritual community for these women to obtain a public apology from B.A. Paramadvaiti and to provide them with every possible material help for adequate professional psychological care. This should stimulate B.A. Paramadvaiti himself. What has he done in this regard?
The aggressive behaviour of some of his disciples, the massive disparagement of his critics, the invasion of their privacy and ignorance of the personal rights of others, the attempt to influence the Hindu community by force, prevent me from seeing in this procedure the interest in an authentic spiritual movement.
I would like to see the result of meditation, Bhakti Yoga and the resulting consciousness reflected in actions with which people create a world in which they would like to live. Then it would certainly be easier to follow the word of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication: "Only when a criticism is as valuable to me as a thank you, do I know that I am in harmony with the divine energy".
We all make mistakes because we are human beings. What matters is how we deal with it. We live in a time when me too revelations in numerous religious and spiritual institutions reveal the decades of abuse of leaders, priests, lamas and gurus in their institutions and the victims only after many years had the courage to turn to the public. In one famous case, there was special training (or rather indoctrination) for students on how to behave loyally when they are approached by journalists about the Master's behavior. The Catholic Church today has to deal with many allegations of cover-up sexual abuse.
Well-known God brothers of Paramadvaiti, but also other Vaishnavas, have asked him in vain to take an honest stand on all points.
The Hindu community in Berlin is neither subordinated to the Vrinda mission according to its statutes nor in any other respect. In the general meeting on 23.03. it became clear that the majority of the participating members refuse to grant Paramadvaiti further the position of an honorary member.
A veto right for an honorary member does not provide for our statute by the way at all.
Also I cannot and will not bear the responsibility for a possible further escalation. For me personally, the attempt to call my reputation into question by unproven accusations via public channels is another great burden, unacceptable and yet easily transparent.
As chairman of the parish, but also for me personally, the statements of Paramadvaiti like: "In Berlin there is a lot talked about but little done" are unacceptable. From my point of view this drives the division of the community forward. And they show the ingratitude, arrogance and emotional distance towards concrete people who have brought decades of their lives into the community and the temple and who have donated large sums of money over the years to implement "his" projects. There are enough contemporary witnesses to this. Isn't this a weak and too transparent attempt to distract from the actual topic and from the fundamental problems that need to be dealt with? Even this sentence alone is a symptom of the illness of the system. It is a sign of the attitude that is characteristic of the whole society around us. To be continuously active instead of going deep. In all spiritual traditions it is emphasized that we should move from doing to being. There God can touch us and only from this being touched, from this being reconnected may action arise. But the depth of being is the first. The crisis and the state of our spiritual community shows unvarnishedly what happens when doing prevails without the real depth that comes from being and when there is a lack of honesty of transformation.
That is why I am no longer available for the presidency of the association.
I will continue my commitment to inter-religious dialogue and I will continue to support the Hindu community with my experience. But not for personality cult and the concealment or euphemism of spiritual abuse.
I am deeply grateful to my friends and companions and remain connected with them because it is an everlasting gift to which we opened our hearts. The cooperation in the board teams was great for the most part. Our time together for a wonderful goal, which we joyfully took very seriously, means a lot to me and is an important chapter in my life.
Haladhara d.
April 2019
The consistent persecution of every higher form of intellectual activity by the new mass leaders springs from more than their natural resentment against everything they cannot understand.
ReplyDeleteTotal domination does not allow for free initiative in any field of life, for any activity that is not entirely predictable.
Totalitarianism in power invariably replaces all first-rate talents, regardless of their sympathies, with those crackpots and fools whose lack of intelligence and creativity is still the best guarantee of their loyalty.
— Hanna Arendt. The Origins of Totalitarianism. 1967. iBooks.