17. Testimony by Vrindavan Vilasini d.d.

The following testimony by Vrindavan Vilasini describes similar experiences to the ones Sita had.

September 2019

Paramadvaiti Swami (PS) is a pilgrim monk living in the order of sannyas or celibacy for over 30 years. Since then, he travels around the world lecturing at universities and performing festivals of universal love as the leader of the Vrinda mission, which he founded.

When I met him in 1997, he seemed to me to be the most lucid, noble person with the most interesting ideas about spiritual life in the modern world. At that time I was studying at the university and I asked my parents for permission to freeze a year of my university career so that I could live in one of the temples he directed and learn about spiritual life. He gave me initiation that year and became my Guru or spiritual master. I spent one of the most beautiful years of my life, I am happy and grateful to have had that experience.

One night, after one of his lectures during his visit to Santiago de Chile in 2012, his secretary tells me that PS wants to spend the night in my house, that he is tired and prefers to go to a quiet place. He was my spiritual master and I had known him for more than 15 years so I took it as a gesture of trust and ran to prepare an adequate space where I could sleep and to get some food to offer him. At that time, I lived alone in a small apartment in the city.

After 30 minutes of arriving at my apartment, along with other disciples, PS fell asleep sitting on a chair, I offered him my bed in my room to rest. The majority left, only PS, his secretary, another disciple who accompanied me, and myself were left. PS slept in my bed and his secretary accompanied him in the room. Together with the other disciple, I slept on a sofa bed in the living room.

The next morning, when it was still early morning, PS woke up, took a bath, and was ready to leave for the trip that morning, leaving Santiago for his next destination. Everything happened super fast and without realising it, all were ready to leave when I was just preparing some breakfast to offer them. When I was still in the kitchen, I noticed that PS was asking them to take their suitcases down so they could leave soon. At that very moment he entered the kitchen, I looked at him surprised because he quickly approached me and grabbed me tightly and pushed me to the wall, lifted me in weight with his body and tried to kiss me. In the middle of the shock by the experience I tried to push him but it was not easy, he doubled my weight and imposed himself on mine.

After some time that I can't remember, and realising my refusal, he stopped pushing me, released me and without saying a word left. I was frozen, trembling, scared, confused, I didn't understand what had just happened. I couldn't find answers, only a great sadness and loneliness for what I had lived and nobody could imagine.

I had to go to work that same morning, so I took courage, wiped my tears and tried to block out my brain so I could get on with what I had to do - I kept doing this blockade in my brain until I found out in 2018 that my teacher had sexually harassed one of his disciples and she decided to tell it publicly after having spoken with the authorities of the mission who besides not helping her, offended and ignored her.

On another occasion, and after some time, I met PS by chance at an airport in Colombia. He had a different destiny than mine and we ran into each other in the koboarding area, his secretary was also accompanying him. We went to his boarding gate because my flight left after his and when he said goodbye he quickly approached me, kissed me on the corner of my lips and left immediately. I froze and saw him turn to look at me as he left, again I experienced a terrible feeling similar to the previous experience.

When the case of his female secretary (in late 2018) became public, PS received many communications trying to know the truth directly from his lips, his answer has remained almost unchanged; he says he does not remember what he is accused of.

In the midst of the comeback of the sexual harassment scandal about his female secretary, one morning I received a message from his secretary telling me that PS wants to talk to me. I received his call, which had the objective of knowing if I was accusing him. I told him no, but since we were talking about it, I reminded him of what had happened in 2012 and he told me that I was probably mistaken because he didn't remember anything. I told him that I wasn't wrong and that I remembered everything perfectly well. He told me for sure that he must have tripped and thats why he fell on me. I felt mocked. Feeling my silence he told me that if it was how I say it was, to forgive him and to please forget it. Unfortunately I have not been able to do it (to forget).

Since that denunciation (of the female secretary), some other cases similar to mine have been revealed. A relationship between him and another of his disciples has also been revealed and some other people have reported that they have witnessed their sexual encounters and other deviations from his sanyas vows.

Unfortunately, the reaction in the Vrinda mission to this scandal borders on fanaticism and the victims who decided to make their testimonies public have been branded as liars, madwomen, buskers and/or guilty of what has happened to them.

I am writing these lines because the attacks, insults and fanatical support for Paramadvaiti Swami affects us doubly. In addition to having been violated by whom we believed to be our spiritual father, by whom we should be protected, by an authority in our lives, the entire community humiliates us, pretending that this whole process is presented in a transparent manner according to the principles of truthfulness.

My feeling in writing is one of disappointment and outrage. Disappointment at the reaction of those who were my spiritual brothers and sisters to the complaints we are making and outrage at the farce that the Vrinda mission continues to promote.

This situation is unacceptable because it normalises a violent act against a group of women, because it violates our integrity, because it endangers other women, mothers, sisters and daughters and promotes the abuse of institutional power in countries where this mission is present.

I hope that my testimony will serve as proof in the list of more than 15 cases of sexual harassment known so far by Paramadvaiti Swami; I support those who are risking their personal tranquillity by publicly speaking out for justice and necessity for our healing process and I fully sympathise with the request for transparency that my spiritual brother Pariksit prabhu is demanding.

It is my hope that this manifesto of truth will contribute to finding the clarity necessary to heal all the well-wishers of PS who are affected by this scandal and deserve to know the truth.

Editors note:

1. This testimony by Vrindavan Vilasini d.d. was published yesterday on: https://vrindatestimonios.blogspot.com, a website started by the victims themselves. They encourage others to come forward with their case: vrinda.testimonios@gmail.com

2. Sexual assault is a crime. It includes unwanted touching, kissing, grabbing and rape. https://www.justice.gov.nt.ca/en/files/victim-services/Sexual%20Assault%20Presentation.pdf

3. Some victims already reported the sexual assault to the German Embassy in the U.S. and some South American countries.